Today I sat in a satsang with Adyashanti, and he related to the participants that actually, most of our activity out there in the world, including seeking, is basically a way of avoiding ourselves. It is through seeking that we avoid what we are looking for. What we are looking for is the end of seeking. What we desire is the end of attachment to desire. We just want peace. But we feel that the only way to get it is to do something first.
A couple of months ago I told a friend that I thought that what everyone is after is peace. She didn't really take to this, and told me that I shouldn't generalize about everyone. But honestly I think it's true. And Adya touched on this as well this evening, using the example of someone who is a shopaholic. What they really want is not the fancy shoes. They want the peace of that cessation of desire, which comes after they have bought those shoes. What we are all seeking is to feel truly at peace - and mostly the way to get this is through fulfilling our desires. Unfortunately, this is always only temporary.
I believe that's what a lot of rich people are doing. They're going through all their desires, unconsciously seeking peace and fulfillment, and very probably a lot of them are wondering why they're not succeeding. The Buddha was originally a prince who had everything he could have ever wanted. And it was probably because of this privileged position that he finally got fed up with everything. He renounced his life and left the palace to become a wandering ascetic. So if everyone could be a prince, everyone would ultimately get tired of worldly things.
The only problem with this is that there are probably more desires than there are resources on the planet to fulfill them. Not everyone can be a billionaire, or even a millionaire for that matter. The planet would get eaten up to feed this insatiable human desire. And in a lot of ways it already is. So not everyone can get tired of stuff through the process of having a lot of stuff. And it doesn't always work anyway. Most people never truly get tired of having a lot of stuff. The illusion is so strong that getting more and more and more is the way to peace and happiness and fulfillment.
So what are people really after? What's all the seeking for? It may be unconscious seeking which is expressed as a desire for things, people, relationships, experiences, or a million other ways. Or it may be "conscious" seeking which is expressed as the desire for enlightenment, liberation, freedom. Either way, there is a fundamental starting point which is the same: I don't have it. When you start from there, then you seek to find it. You seek outside, or you seek inside. You seek to be a billionaire, or you seek to be a great yogi in the Himalayas. The point is, you seek. You move. You move from this basic attitude: I don't have it. I don't have within me the happiness, peace, and fulfillment that I'm seeking. Perhaps someday I will, but not yet, not now.
And I guess that pretty much sums up a huge amount of what's going on in the world. A whole lot of people are actively seeking...something. And how many are looking, in this very moment, to see if they don't already have it? Perhaps the reason they cannot find it is that they are it. Perhaps the seeking itself is just a byproduct of not being in touch with that peace and fulfillment that already lives within. Perhaps we already are it. All of us. Perhaps...
Just perhaps. I'm not trying to put this across as a statement of fact. It's just an interesting angle on the whole thing. Something to be investigated and explored. Wouldn't that make a lot of sense? If we already are that which we are seeking, then how would we ever find it or attain it? How could we ever find that which we never lost?
And so I guess it all comes down to some pretty basic questions:
What exactly are we seeking?
Would we know it if we saw it?
Would we be able to see it if it came into view?
Is it out of view?
Is it not here already, in this rather ordinary moment?
Could it be in any other moment, since all we have is now?
Is it something you can grab and hold onto?
Again, what exactly are we seeking?
Do we even know?
To be pondered with an open mind and an open heart. Perhaps there are no answers. But I feel compelled to ask the question, because it might just be that simple:
We might already be walking around with out heart's deepest desires. We might already have the fulfillment we are seeking. It might just be that all we need to do is stop seeking and start seeing. Seeing what's already here. Seeing and seeing and seeing. Seeing more deeply into this moment, this life, this reality. Seeing that which is seeing. Perhaps it is because we are not really seeing that we are seeking.
Is this life not already perfect, amazing, complete, divinely orchestrated, and a complete wonder? Is it not everything you could have ever wanted? Are you not happy deep down in every moment, grateful for every single nano-second, taking in every breath as a gift?
Is this not the perfect life? Is this not perfection itself, every single moment? Perfection appearing as imperfect?
If not this, then what? If not now, then when? If not you, then who? If not here, then where?
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Check out this article for a much better take on all this:
Standing in Your Own Two Shoes - by Adyashanti
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